The Historiographer: The Pharmacology Diaries -- Part I
Brian--
November 15, 2004
Hey, buddy. How are things going down? Are they going down with pen and ink? Are you writing them down, putting them down on paper: leaving a record, creating a paper trail?
You were a history major, weren't you? University of Maryland? Richard Hofstadter, the late, great, historian, Richard Hofstadter, used to be a history professor at the University of Maryland (1942-1946). Did you know that? He died in 1970 before you matriculated. When did you matriculate at the University of Maryland, by the way? May I be so bold as to ask? Or do you consider that information too personal?
We're taking a change of course this week. Or some change in course-work, so to speak. I've prepared some primary source documents for you to review. That's the job of a historian, isn't it, Brian -- to review primary source material? The documents are directly pertinent to an issue you placed in controversy with the Metro DC Police, namely, my failure to take the anti-psychotic medication Zyprexa (Olanzapine) that was prescribed for me by Betsy Jane Cooper, MD. I'm sure you remember that unfortunate incident of several months ago, don't you?
Flashback to the year 2001. In October of that year, my then treating psychiatrist, Rhoda Ruttenberg, MD, prescribed the anti-psychotic medication Zyprexa. That was my first experience with that (or any) anti-psychotic medication. You remember that at that time I believed that the resident manager of my apartment building, David Castleberry (2000 - 2003), used to enter my apartment surreptitiously each day. I used to leave him a handwritten message taped to the inside of the front door. I had begun that practice in mid-June 2001 and continued writing notes and taping them to the door until the summer of 2003, when David Castleberry quit. The messages were addressed to "Friend." I pretended that I didn't know it was David Castleberry who was reading the notes. It was my (paranoid) belief that David Castleberry reported back to our mutual friends at Akin Gump the content of the message I left on the door each day. Our mutual friends then informed you at the library of the content of the daily message. I told my then treating psychologist, Nancy Shaffer, Ph.D., about my activity several times.
Well, I saved those messages for the precedential library; there's no precedent for what I'm doing. I am presenting the messages from the periods I was administered anti-psychotic medications (the messages from the period October 2001 to January 2002, while I was treated by Dr. Ruttenberg, are presented below; the messages from the period September 2002 to January 2003, while I was treated by Dr. Cooper, will be presented next week). In effect, I treated my clinical trial on Zyprexa (and later, Risperdal and Abilify) as a scientific experiment.
The messages monitor and memorialize my progress (or lack thereof) on the anti-psychotic meds. As you will see there was no improvement at all in my thinking. I remained as paranoid as ever. I continued to have ideas of reference. Moreover, taking the medication exacerbated my feelings of anger and vindictiveness ("my pain") toward the District government. My obsession with my employment experience at Akin Gump (1988-1991) did not wane in the least; and my obsession with the trivial goings on at the library did not abate.
This week I present the results of my trial on Zyprexa during the period October 2001 to January 2002, as prescribed by Rhoda Ruttenberg, MD. Next week I'll present the results of my trials on Risperdal and Abilify (September 2002 to January 2003), as prescribed by Betsy Jane Cooper, MD. The latter two drugs were as ineffective as the Zyprexa.
Legal Note. Under Murphy v. United Parcel Service (a U.S. Supreme Court case from the late 1990s), a decision interpreting the Americans With Disabilities Act, a prospective employer has a legal right to require a disabled person to remediate his disability to the extent feasible by medical or other means. Thus, as a matter of law, the following material (with all its lewd, obscene, and bizarre references) is directly material to any future job application I make. The documentation evidences the fact that the antipsychotic medications Zyprexa, Risperdal, and Abilify did not remediate my disability.
Wait till I start sending this documentation out to prospective employers. The s--- will really hit the fan. I'd love to send this material to individual U.S. Supreme Court Justices as part of an employment application for the position of law clerk, citing my legal duty under Murphy v. UPS. Remember, it was the DC Office of Corporation Counsel that said that I was fired (in part) because of my thoughts about masturbation, an allegation that Dennis Race did not object to. I guess that makes me a chronic "masturbator by estoppel." That's my disability, or at least part of it. And the following material shows that it's a condition that can't be remediated (at least with medication). Maybe the DC Department of Mental Health has a duty to provide me with a nubile, young babe. "Hey, it's the only thing that'll cure me of my compulsive masturbatory tendencies, Dr. Barbot!"
Professor Richard Hofstadter was said to have found congenial the role of "detached observer," and was described as having "a melancholy knowledge of the shoals and traps of human nature." Consider the following material the accumulated observations of a detached, medicated psychotic struggling with a melancholy knowledge, which is the product of his own creation.
Check you out next week, buddy, with installment II. By the way, Brian, would it really be too much of an imposition for you to call me? I'm one lonely bugger. Have a heart. How about a fax?
_________________________________________________________
The Diaries.
10-3-01 Tomorrow is my big day with my psychiatrist -- she's scheduled to prescribe antipsychotic meds for my delusional disorder -- delusional disorder -- HA! That's a joke. Eventually, the truth is going to come out, and there's going to be some high-profile criminal prosecutions. You think I'm going to take it lying down that a psychiatrist at a city-run clinic pumped me full of meds that might have irreversible side effects? No! I'm going to see that Dr. Ruttenberg gets screwed. It's like Ann Richards said about Ross Perot -- Her recommendation for dealing with him: "Whatever you do, don't make him angry." TONY [WILLIAMS:] -- Does multi-million dollar lawsuit mean anything to you. Hint -- It doesn't go with a bow tie!
[cf. Written statement addressed to DC branch librarian Brian Brown dated April 16, 2004 -- "People will pay for my pain." "I'm no longer taking the antipsychotic meds that were prescribed for me." "I'm in a dark place." "Trouble for you, fun for me." I explained to Metro DC Police Officer J.E. Williams (Badge 1226, Second District) on Wednesday April 21, 2004 that the message to Brian Brown (dated 4-16-04) concerned my thoughts about the use of legal process, and not violence, to vindicate my damages. The above entry (dated 10-3-01) supports the truth of my statement to the Metro DC Police.]
10-04-01 We gotta do a quickie today, 'cause I got places to go, people to see, things to do. My whole life doesn't revolve around you, guy. Here it is-- The tenant in 226 -- Don't know her name. She looks like a female phys. ed. teacher. Thing is-- She used to be very friendly with Beverly, the former front desk person. They chatted fairly often. Assignment -- What does 226 know? By the way, Dave C. wasn't his chipper self this morning. What's up with him. More tomorrow!
10-05-01 I start on my antipsychotic meds tonight. As for an end to these letters, don't hold your breath. Now to your assignment: During the entire period of my early tenure at Akin Gump (beginning March 1988) there was a paralegal at the firm named Jeffrey Wertman -- a recent college graduate who worked in the labor group on Eastern Airlines. The same project I worked on. Subject left the firm in late summer 1988 to attend American University Law School. He would have graduated in about 1991. I know that according to an entry in Martindale-Hubble (the lawyer's directory) subject practiced in Miami, Florida. Subject won a writing competition in law school. I believe Richard Wyatt, Esq., a partner at Akin Gump, wrote a letter of recommendation for subject that should be on file at AU. Subject resided at 3701 Connecticut Avenue--next door.
[Included is a magazine photo of President George W. Bush leading a cabinet meeting. I've written as a caption "Inside the Diary Room: 'I've got some surprises up my sleeve that will drop the country's jaw -- if I get to play it my way.'"] [The note is a paraphrase of a statement made during the summer of 2001 by Hardy Ames Hill, a contestant on the CBS-TV reality series, "Big Brother."]
10-08-01 So far my jaw hasn't dropped. -- Just my pants! [Note appended to magazine photo from "Vanity Fair" magazine, depicting a female model touching the naked buttocks of a male model, whose pants have been pulled down to expose his posterior.]
10-9-01 Please thank Mr. Castleberry for turning the heat on. It's delightful. Now to serious business. My mother worked with a young man named Steven ("Steve") Miller in the mid 70s at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. Miller graduated from Central High School in the early to mid-sixties. He worked as an editor at the Institute. What's his story? Miller later married a coworker named Joann Wagner (presumably, not the same individual who works as an editor at "The Journal of the American Psychiatric Association," published here in DC. (Her name is Joann Wagner also).
10-9-01 [Time Magazine photo of President George W. Bush seated between Secretary of State Colin Powell and Vice President Dick Cheney, with my handwritten caption]: I don't want you to think I'm declaring war against Islam, or anything like that, I'm not. It's not only who you condemn -- who you declare a pariah state -- It's who you ally yourself with. When somebody says they don't have a problem with how those [m-f'ing] animals act, and say "Oh, they still haven't done anything to me -- that's OK" -- then you're guilty by association in my book. [The note is a paraphrase of a statement made during the summer of 2001 by Hardy Ames Hill, a contestant on the CBS-TV reality series, "Big Brother."]
10-10-01 Maybe a lawyer like Daniel Daniels is somebody I ought to work for -- Harvard grad (probably smarter than Chuck Reischel) -- and involved in theater. But as Michael Madigan says -- Law is theater (right, and in Akin Gump's case it's farce). [Note appended to cutout portion of ALI-ABA Professional Skills Program -- "Public Speaking for Lawyers," scheduled for Friday November 30, 2001 at the Renaissance Hotel in Washington, DC. Program is to feature Daniel L. Daniels, who, the program states, recently appeared as Nicely Johnson in an off-Broadway (Darien, Connecticut) production of "Guys and Dolls." A graduate of Dartmouth College and Harvard Law School, Mr. Daniels also is a member of the Stamford, Connecticut law firm, Cummings & Lockwood.]
10-11-01 Assignment for today: Check into Phillip Feigen. Subject was a legal assistant at Akin Gump from midyear 1988 to 1990. Worked in the labor practice group on Eastern Airlines. Worked a lot of overtime. Assigned to office on second floor, which he shared with another legal assistant, Jesse Raben. Left firm to attend law school (Catholic University) -- would have graduated in about 1993. Took a trip to Spain. Subject & Raben were sent to National Airport in 1989 to videotape striking Eastern pilots. Telephone directory lists a "Phillip G. Feigen" at 2550 M Street (office -- no. 457-6000). (I started my antipsychotic meds last night).
10-12-01 Who's the common traveler on this floor? [note appended to first page of the October 12, 2001 issue of the gay newspaper, "The Washington Blade"]
[appended to 10-12-01 is handwritten note written on Smithsonian Institution promotional material:] Do you think Mary Blum left this for me intentionally in the lobby? -- Antipsychotic meds, what's up with them? [Mary Agnes Blum is an elderly tenant who resides in apartment 334].
10-12-01 Assignment. Check into Robert M. Landau, Esq. Subject used to be an associate at Akin Gump -- while I worked there. He's now at another firm located at 1350 Connecticut Ave., NW (955-8305). He specializes in ERISA (The Employee Retirement Income Security Act). When I first started working at the firm I submitted a written reference to the legal assistant administrator (Margarita Babb) that was written by a lawyer for whom I clerked while I attended law school (Thomas Jennings, Esq.). (Philadelphia). Jennings specialized in ERISA law and his letter refers to that fact. Landau and I had no verbal contact, but I had formed the impression he knew who I was. One of subject's current colleagues speaks fluent German.
10-15-01 A paranoia update. Last night I increased my antipsychotic med dose to 5 mg. -- considered the starting dose by the manufacturer (Lilly). "Ideas of reference" Saturday (10-13-01) at the library-- 1) Two xeroxed notices were posted at the circulation desk. These were for upcoming movies they were planning to show at the library auditorium. (The library shows old movies on a regular basis free). One notice was for "Sunset Boulevard" -- which was xeroxed at the enlargement scale that they usually post such notices. Then, very noticeably, a second notice for another movie was posted nearby in considerABLY LARGER TYPE -- A NOTICE FOR "STALAG 17" STARRING ROBERT STRAUSS (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH ROBERT STRAUSS THE ACTOR). 2) In the magazine exchange box there was the following "AAA WORLD" [magazine] featuring a photo of Benjamin Franklin's statue at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. Last week I wrote to you about Steve Miller, who worked at the Franklin Institute (I see a connection). (Antipsychotic meds -- what's up with them?) This mag was on top of a pile. [Appended is cover of "AAA WORLD"]
10-16-01 Meds update. I took 5 mg of antipsychotic meds last night. No change so far in my cognitive functioning. Give you an example of how I still misinterpret facts and arrive at faulty conclusions: Recently I was looking through my high school yearbook and I came across the entry for a student who was in two of my classes in the 11th grade. Perry Rubenstein (a slimy heterosexual). I happened to notice, at the top of the column, an entry for "Howard Rothman" (I have no idea who he is). I noticed that they lived a few blocks from each other. Both also gave a smart-ass response to "Career Choice" (Kenyan gov't official). Both look like dickheads. Paranoid conclusion: They were friends, possibly close friends.
10-16-01 For the chapter: "Not Ant Tracks, You Moron"
MALCOLM LASSMAN: Looks like we got a real anthrax problem here. What do you suggest we do?
DENNIS RACE: I don't know. My advice, we call an exterminator. I'm thinking, -- You get rid of the ants, you'll get rid of their tracks. But that's just a guess. Let's call the experts and get their opinion.
10-17-01 Last night I increased my antipsychotic med dose to 7.5 mg. As of now -- no harm/no foul -- so to speak. Ideas of Reference (The illness that got me fired from my job -- apparently -- they have not changed). Yesterday (10-16-01) I chatted briefly with Barbara -- the librarian. I asked her if anyone had commented negatively on the new computer desks -- they are somewhat uncomfortable. She said "no" -- but that she personally finds that she has to strain her neck to use the computer. She then asked my permission to conduct a very brief experiment before I got on the computer. She wanted to see if a wheelchair bound person would have a problem. -- She had a wheelchair bound patron roll over to a computer to see if it was feasible and tolerable. The wheelchair bound patron said (I believe -- she was smiling) that everything was fine. During my chat with the librarian (Barbara) -- she use the phrase "guinea-pig" -- which I interpreted to refer to persons of Italian heritage (Dr. Palombo? Mario Cuomo? Mayor Giuliani? --Who knows.) Also she talked about having to go through "contortions" to use the new computer desk. I thought that referenced to "Houdini" and that that reference concerned a statement I made on the computer in which I compared myself to Houdini (no one -- objectively -- would have access to my computer files -- but I believe -- in paranoid fashion -- that they do).
[The actions of William Dacosta in calling the police on April 21, 2004 confirmed that, in fact, the librarians can access a public computer's files. I could not and did not know that fact as of October 17, 2001.]
Also-- On Monday I added material to my autobiography -- a quotation from a magazine article by Adam Gopnik about the New York Twin Tower Bombing (Cuomo, Giuliani, and Dr. Palombo are all native New Yorkers, by the way). The article was titled "The City and the Pillars." Yesterday, someone left the following magazine on top of other magazines in the magazine trunk in the library. Note the pillars. (Antipsychotic meds -- what's up with them?) [The referenced magazine is "Washington Entertaining's 2001-2002 Events Yearbook & Calendar: 1000 Activities -- Event & Site Services Guide." The cover features a photo of the huge interior pillars of the National Building Museum lobby, here in Washington.]
10-18-01 Took 7.5 mg antipsychotic meds last night for my ideas of reference and my bizarre behavior. These are two of the main reasons Dennis Race said I was not suitable for employment as of October 1991 -- ten years ago. This morning I had a really good masturbation session. A good time was had by all -- if you know what I mean. An older guy, late fifties, maybe, smiled when he saw me occupied with my life's work.
[In the fall of 2001 I used to masturbate in front of my apartment window in front of the construction workers who were erecting an apartment building (3883 Connecticut Avenue) adjacent to my building. I told my then treating psychologist, Nancy Shaffer, Ph.D., about my activity.]
I thought, "You know, maybe Bobby [i.e., Robert Strauss] would enjoy this. Maybe I should make a video and send it to him." Speaking of Bobby -- we could have been so happy together. But George [i.e., President George H.W. Bush] ruined it for me! George!! He sends Bobby off to Russia, and I'm left here-- Speaking of Bobby, I had an idea of reference this very morning as I stepped outside my door. Somebody dropped (or placed) three pennies outside my door -- I spotted them on the floor, arranged in a row like this -- only further apart. [three pennies are scotch-taped to paper] Today -- (10/18) happens to be Bobby's birthday, and I thought -- well, let's say I assigned the following meaning to the pennies -- the following thoughts or associations flashed in my mind. --Bobby's 83'rd birthday; --coins -- autobiography -- inheritance; death; presidents (here, President Lincoln); Walt Whitman ("When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloomed"); Robert Rubin (Secretary of the Treasury); Theme of the Three Caskets (lead, Silver, Gold) [a reference to "The Merchant of Venice"].
10-19-01 I took 7.5 mg antipsychotic meds last night. -- See the change? I had a good masturbation session this morning. -- The train never pulled into the station, so to speak -- if you know what I mean. With all these meds I'm taking, I ain't gettin' nothin' -- except a little juice at the bottom of the tube. Here's the thing -- even if the meds were to cure me, well-- Let's say, if I had a partner (man, woman, or sheep) -- I wouldn't be able to do anything in a genital sense with these meds, it's like I'm all dressed up with no place to go -- (or come).
10-22-01 Assignment for today: Check into an individual named Howell ("Howie") Brister. Subject was born in about 1947 (son of Melvin & Claire Brister, who, until 1978, resided at 1613 Barringer Street in Philadelphia). Subject was in my brother-in-law's graduating class in college. (B.S., 1969 -- Philadelphia College of Textiles & Science). Subject used to drive a yellow Camaro, subject married in his faith.
10-23-01 I took 7.5 mg antipsychotic meds last night. Does Dr. Ruttenberg know what trouble she could be getting herself into ? ? ?
10-23-01 Assignment for today: Look into a person named-- John Hillerman. I worked with subject during the summers of 1970 and 1971 at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. It was a summer job for both of us. Subject was about 3 years older than me, and graduated college in spring 1972. What makes subject significant is who he was related to. Subject's cousin was another Franklin Institute employee named "Pat" (Patricia) Devlin. (Born about 1942). Devlin was romantically involved with, and later married, an individual named Alec Peters (born about 1912). The pair were married in about late 1970 or early 1971. The couple subsequently had several children. Alec Peters founded the department "Science Information Services" at The Franklin Institute, a unit that was a major profit center for the Institute. The unit (SIS) grew to include offices in Tokyo (Japan), Munich (Germany), and Rockville, MD. Peters was an immigrant from Bucharest, Rumania, and had served 10 years in a Soviet Prison (Lubyanka -- headquarters of the former KGB, in central Moscow, USSR). His biography reads like a Victor Hugo novel, I do not know why the Soviets imprisoned him. CIA or FBI may have information on him. Peters was imprisoned, I believe, after WWII (from about 1945 - 1955). Peters was married to his first wife, before WWII. Couple had a son. Peters rejoined wife after release from Soviet prison. Peters was fluent in Russian and German, in addition to, of course, Rumanian & English. First wife was Jewish, and died in about 1969 or 1970. Peters was reportedly Jewish but concealed his origins. (Peters apparently was not his birth name). Peters did not wear yarmulke at his wife's funeral. Peters was named vice-president of the Franklin Institute in the early 1970s. Peters was terminated by the Franklin Institute in about 1982 because of a conflict of interest -- His wife, Devlin, had started her own company that bid on the same contracts as The Franklin Institute -- The SIS Department's income was based largely on U.S. government contracts.
THIS HAS INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT WRITTEN ALL OVER IT!
P.S. The Franklin Institute Research Laboratories was designed by Robert Venturi. I, personally, gravitate to the work of renowned postmodern architects and theorists Robert Venturi and Denise Scott Brown, because it looks so smart and so subtle. As to furniture, I'm not a great fan of George Nakashima, like Bernie and Aida Epstein.
You remember last week, I told you I had paranoid ideas about three pennies someone had left outside my door? Well this morning (10/23), I just read in my high school handbook that my high school French teacher Linda Schubert Miller, who I wrote about to you in the past -- was the sponsor of my high school Stamp and Coin Club. Amazing, huh?
10-24-01 Still taking my anti-psychotic meds. Notice any changes in me? I'm still exhausted from all the writing I did yesterday. I guess you're pooped-out from the breadth and scope of your last assignment. -- By the way, how are you doing with that? Have you contacted the Bureau or the Agency about Alec Peters? I felt a lot of ideas of reference in the library yesterday. --Barbara, in talking to a patron on the telephone, used the phrase "A stranger on the train" -- which I saw as a reference to my dream "Those Who Love Me Can Take The Train." She kept using the words "weird" and "strange" -- I felt that referred to me, but not necessarily in a bad way. Then she took on this strange kind of what I can only describe as a "laughing" tone as she spoke -- it had a regressed, histrionic, or "as-if" quality. --Then Charles Davis used the phrase "50,000 watt amplification system" -- or some such phrase. I thought that referred to my listening to classical music when I was growing up on Barringer Street -- and our neighbors -- the Bristers. Funny (odd, or bizarre) -- after all these years I can still remember issues relating to classical music and the Bristers. --One evening, coming home from work, Mel Brister told me that he & Claire were going to see Bizet's opera Carmen at the Robin Hood Dell. --Claire Brister said she studied classical piano when she was growing up (her father was a pharmacist). --Claire once asked me if I knew anything about the Saint-Saens piano concertos (Who?? What??) --One afternoon I heard Claire playing (repeatedly -- the 3rd movement of the Brahms 2nd piano concerto. --I heard Claire playing the first movement of the Mahler 10th symphony. -- In the mid-seventies, classical radio station WFLN broadcast, on successive weekends, the Furtwaengler performances of Wagner's Ring operas. -- Claire said she was listening to that. --In about 1977 or 1978 -- Claire took my mother to the Robin Hood Dell to hear the Philadelphia Orchestra perform "The Rite of Spring" by Stravinsky. My mother couldn't stand it. --In the spring of 1968 Holly Brister asked me if I liked the Beethoven 5th symphony -- I said "no" -- I prefer the Third. By the way, ask Mel or Claire how their friend Irene is.
This is Barringer Street in Philadelphia where my family resided from April 1966 to 1980. Nice, huh? (It looks like the London suburbs, Mrs. Joyce would say). [Note refers to attached photograph].
10-25-01 Variety is the spice of life, so they say, so-- I figured I'd try some yellow paper for a change. You've been (you and your handlers) have been working very hard lately, so here's a break. --Just some fundamentally useless information that simply gives me a chance to show off my memory. A couple of days ago I mentioned Bernie Epstein. Following is a list of what I recall about Mr. Epstein's musical tastes. --Predilection for the work of J.S. Bach --Adolescent taste for Wagner -- Then moved on to Mahler & Bruckner. Then "outgrew" Wagner (Mahler & Bruckner) --First opera he ever saw was Strauss's "Salome" --when he was in his early teens. -- Music Education major at Temple University.-- Liked the symphonies of Robert Schumann. -- Wife was classically-trained pianist. -- At party Epsteins gave at their cork-lined home (like Proust in his cord-lined room) (actually, only the music room was cork-lined) in April 1970 (during Pesach "Sorry, we're not serving any bread products -- because of Passover") -- wife Aida entertained the guests with Schumann's Trauemerei, among other works (I think she said she was not fond of Chopin -- HA! -- Wagner loved Chopin, and used to ask his father-in-law to play Chopin for him). --Said he still found Mahler's Kindertotenlieder of interest (A psychoanalyst would link up the Trauemerei (from Kinderscenen) with Kindertotenlieder. By the way, Mr. Smarty-pants-- did you know that Mahler quotes the Trauemerei melody in several of his symphonies -- It's one of the main themes in the first movement of Mahler's number 9 (nine) -- in a grotesquely-varied form. The theme also appears in movement 1 of Mahler's Seventh. --Had a taste for the Bartok opera "Bluebeard's Castle." By the way -- I saw Dave Castleberry yesterday in his convertible -- How is it that such a geeky-looking guy drives such a cool car -- (Don't tell him I said that ! ! ! )
10-26-01 I took 7.5 mg anti-psychotic meds last night (Zyprexa). Do you notice any change -- Talk to Dr. Sack about this -- Maybe he would have some ideas. I was feeling a lot of self-referential thinking in the library yesterday (10/25). Barbara or Hillary were using the word "trap" -- as in "It's a trap" or "entrapment." Peter & the head librarian were talking -- I thought that referred to me -- not so much the context of what they were saying -- but the idea of, possibly, male friendship or mentoring. I felt they got some news that I was a very intelligent fellow. This crap -- this acting-out in the library just doesn't stop. -- 10 YEARS of this fucking crap. (But I love it!)
10-29-01 Only 20 something days till turkey day. Today, Monday, like most Mondays, is a slow news day. Nothing happens on Sunday. I've forgotten what happened on Saturday-- No fear, I still have something to write. This is some additional information about two other Rumanians who worked at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. FELICIA ROGERS: Born about 1920; from Bucharest, Rumania; fled Nazis; grandfather gunned down by Nazis on street in Bucharest for target practice; husband (Claude Rogers) was a medical doctor; staunch supporter of Richard Nixon -- saw him as person who stood up to the communists; she was a Wagner opera fan; spoke fluent French, German, Rumanian, -- and, of course, the Queen's English; attended my mother's funeral in 1980. LYDIA ERDELYI: Born in German-speaking sector of Rumania; spoke fluent Russian, German; husband was mathematics professor at Temple University; on one occasion, asked Hilliard Cohen [Central High School, 224th class, 1965] to purchase for her a Russian-language edition of, I think it was, Solzhenitsyn's "Gulag Archipelago"; husband was from Hungarian-speaking sector of Rumania. If you don't know -- Rumania is linguistically diverse -- with some parts made up of German speakers, Hungarians, and, of course, Rumanians.
[Notes appended to photograph from magazine:] Lockhart, Texas, ca. 1918. Picture of Charles Strauss's dry-goods store. It's where Bob Strauss's father made his first million.
I whacked off here on this table this morning. I'm LOVING my anti-psychotic meds!
10-30-01 Just some odds & ends today. LYDIA ERDELYI -- It was Lydia Erdelyi who translated my letter from Gertrud Strobel, dated May 1972, in response to my inquiry to the Wagner Archives in Bayreuth, Germany, about the foundation stone of the Wagner festival theater. -- Judge Joyce Hens Green (Judge on U.S. District Court, DC, who decided McNeil v. Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld): her father was a psychiatrist. --My ideas of reference have not diminished. Yesterday Hillary Fennel at the Cleveland Park Library used the term "boot" of "reboot" the computer. I interpreted "boot" as relating to me. And the content referred to someone of Italian heritage (who said something very complimentary about me). -- "Gee, I wonder what happened in that laboratory?" Italy is shaped like a boot. --Incidentally, Hilliard Cohen went to elementary school with my sister -- they were in the same class in 6th grade -- Olga Kaempfer's 6th grade class.
10-31-01 Did you ever hear the one about the traveling salesman? By the way -- Tonight's party -- will it be wet or dry -- If there's alcohol, I'll be there! Check one: WET / / DRY / /
11-01-01 Still loving my anti-psychotic meds. Here's an interesting thing I recall from high school. But first, what it was that brought this memory back to me. It's a sentence from the final portions of my autobiography: "It was natural that a youth of exceptionally active mind should raise some questions about the doctrines transmitted in the synagogue school." I can remember being on the "L" bus going home from school and Fred Cohen (229) was talking to a friend. I was eavesdropping -- as Chuck [Reischel] would say. Subject was saying that he thought it was questionable that a rabbi should be paid for his work on the Sabbath. He saw an inherent conflict between a rabbi accepting money from his congregation (as consideration for his services)-- and at the same time keeping the Sabbath. Eric-- Fred is now an OB-GYN. [Even as a teenager I was interested in the moral qualities of my peers; here, I was intrigued by a fellow student's (Fred Cohen's) concerns about an issue of rabbinical ethics. As an adult I seemed sensitive to the moral qualities in the law clerk Glenn Fine at the law firm of Hogan & Hartson. Do you see why the Pope would be interested in me?]
11-02-01 Missed you at the 3801 party Wednesday night -- By the way, what do you look like? Assignment: You may want to look into a person named Arthur Koren (Central High School, 231st class, 1972). Koren lived in my neighborhood when I was growing up; was 1 year younger than me; was friendly with Mark Needleman, (Central, 229). Koren's sister was a beauty contest winner (Bonnie Koren). She attended my sister's high school. I think she was my sister's age. Coincidentally, Koren was in the same graduating class as Emanuel Garcia, M.D. (Dr. Eissler's literary executor) and Murray Cohen (Fred Cohen's younger brother). --Get on it ! ! !
11-5-01 Did you telephone Elizabeth Joyce to wish her a happy Guy Fawlkes Day? It's a slow Monday -- as usual. Brief assignment-- In high school-- my sophomore and junior years: There were two students in French class whose respective names I recall. I can recall their two names-- One was Fred Cohen (229) and the other was David Seltzer. I have no idea why I remember Seltzer. Maybe because it's the number one beverage in America today -- "Pardon me, may I have a seltzuh?" -- Not salsa, seltzuh.
11-6-01 Here's someone else to look into: Audrey Britt-- Subject was an African-American female who worked in the Computer Applications Department at the law firm of Hogan & Hartson -- From 1986 - 1987. She had a law degree and did some legal representation on her own (i.e., not in connection with Hogan). She shared an office with Crag W. Dye (when he was still young and good-looking). She would have known about Daniel Cutler distributing marijuana to fellow employees in about March 1987.
11-6-01 These were gifts to me from Felicia Rogers (book & postcards).
11-06-07 More on Audrey Britt. -- John Douglas, eat your heart out! If you were to ask Audrey Britt her impression of me, she would emphasize my shyness. How do I know that? Because I can recall two specific instances that related to money & wealth, which Audrey talked about (i.e., something desirable, or something envied or coveted.) -- And in my working out of the problem unconscious envy is negated by conscious attributions of shyness. --In about early January 1987, Audrey said to me, "Could you lend me some money, a thousand dollars, maybe?" (She was joking--it was a reference to the fact that Christmas week [1986] I had worked about 83 hours and had earned about $1,000. --In summer 1987, as we walked out of Hogan's office at 555 Thirteenth St., she pointed to a Marriott Hotel across the street and said: "That Marriott is owned by a very wealthy family, yes, a very wealthy family owns that Marriott Company." Coincidentally, in fall 1986, Daniel Cutler -- in a joking reference -- asked me if I had picked up my rent checks from all my rental properties. Yes, I'll be blunt -- I think Audrey Britt and Daniel Cutler were both envious anti-Semites. Have you noticed? My apartment is taking on that "fag" decorator look?
11-07-01 Two weeks until T-Day. I'm thinking of inviting Carlos, Jorge & Umberto. I have the feeling things are happening with the investigation. The library personnel seem to be powerfully overstimulated, and are discharging the overstimulation by emphasizing situation-appropriate words & phrase and behaviors. Here are some words and phrases-- "Don't be shy" -- Free (=Louis Freeh?) -- Tuna (=like a dolphin caught in a tuna net) -- Mark (Mark Needleman -- yesterday "Mark" a friend of Velvel came to visit) -- [Hillary said to a student patron:] "Are you a junior high student? -- You want information on floods? That's too broad -- Floods can be caused by any number of things -- a dam breaking, for example. You need to narrow that down. Now, if the subject were hurricanes, that would be a specific thing."
11-8-01 In late July 1998, I started to see a psychologist named Lisa Osborn. I think my first session with her was Friday July 31, 1998. Be that as it may. The day before I had my first consult with Lisa Osborn, somebody had left the attached magazine on a table in the laundry room, here, at 3801. It was uncanny when I met Lisa Osborn because she resembles Helen Hunt. I told Dr. Osborn about this. [Appended is cover of February 1998 issue of "Biography" Magazine featuring a photo of the actress Helen Hunt.]
10-9-01 Brief Assignment-- My English teacher in the tenth grade (10th grade: 1968-1969 school year) was an individual named Thomas Horan. Subject was working on his Ph.D. thesis on none other than James Joyce -- Specifically, "Ulysses." Find out more!
11-12-01 This will show how I will pick up some trivial detail from my environment concerning someone I don't even know -- and retain that detail in my mind, indefinitely. This concerns David Rosenbaum (229th class, Central High School, 1970). Subject was in the first violin section of the orchestra. I once eavesdropped on a conversation he was having with another student (he played the clarinet -- and was blind in one eye). Subject sounded like he was in some adolescent funk, and was saying -- "I wish I could do something creative." [David Rosenbaum, Ph.D., is now a professor of psychology at The Pennsylvania State University at College Park, my alma mater.]
11-13-01 Here's another assignment. Jack Byk and his wife: Subject was employed as a computer specialist at the Franklin Institute while I worked there. Subject & wife were both from Vienna (Austria not Virginia); they were Jews who emigrated (the polite way to put it) -- the Anschluss and all that. Subject & wife were at the company dinner at Franklin Hall in December 1977. I was drunk as a skunk at the dinner & Mrs. Byk talked me down -- figuratively and literally (I had tried to climb atop the statue of Benjamin Franklin. On one occasion, Jack Byk said to me -- Do you have any friends? I lied & said "Yes." He said: "I'm surprised to hear that." I said: "Why's that?" He said: "Your interests. I have a son your age, and you are totally different from him -- He has no interest in classical music -- I don't see you having anything in common with young people your age." When I left the company he gave me a piece of advice: "Stay away from alcohol." Sharon Miriam White Glick [now married to Kenneth Glick, Esq.] had a nonsexual crush on Jack Byk. If you talk to Jack Byk, tell him I didn't take his advice -- exactly. I haven't stayed away from liquor-- I just steer clear of statues of Benjamin Franklin. Works like a charm.
11-14-01 Nunc Pro Tunc. (I still have to make up one day -- I know that.) Here's an assignment: Richard Krangel. Subject lived on same street as Perry Rubenstein (slimy heterosexual). Krangel was in my graduating class in high school (230, 1971). Subject and I attended the same elementary school (Rowan Elementary). I believe we weren't in any classes together in high school -- as far as I recall. We had no contact whatsoever in high school. I think in 3rd grade (Mrs. Myers) subject was in the advanced reading group that read from the "advanced" book, "Fun and Frolic." Krangel resided at 127 W. Walnut Drive. Perry Rubenstein (a slimy heterosexual) resided at 114 W. Walnut Drive. Krangel appears to have been a nonjoiner -- He doesn't list any extra-curricular activities.
11-15-01 Nothing to report today. See ya! Have to go take my antipsychotic meds--
11-16-01 Back on schedule. Here's info on two other Central High School alums. Murray Marion (230, 1971). We were in same graduating class. I had no contact at all with Marion. The only reason I mention him, the only significance he has, is that we had the same private piano teacher, Elisabeth Griffith. I happened to see him perform at my piano teacher's recital. He was an advanced student -- a very fine pianist. Toby Apel (229, 1970). Apel was a year ahead of me. He played the viola in the school orchestra (same instrument as Sidney Rothstein, the conductor). Apel was an outstanding musician -- I believe he was a professional musician. We were in the same French class in school year 1967-1968 (Miss Proctor). I remember schmoozing with Apel.
11-19-01 Still loving my anti-psychotic meds. They are costing the District about $100.00/month. But, hey, it's just money. When I was growing up on 17th Street in Philadelphia, there were neighbors who resided down the street, a family named Hershberg (spelling?). There was an older brother Bruce (my sister's age) and a younger brother, Robert Hershberg, who was my age. I believe Akin Gump contacted these people in 1991. Anti-psychotic meds have not changed my opinion. The Hershberg family moved from our neighborhood to Vineland, New Jersey, in about 1962 or 1963.
11-19-01 Just in case you're wondering why they fired me. -- I ask you: Was this so wrong? [Appended is a photograph from a magazine that depicts a young man sitting on top of a xerox machine in an office setting, with his naked posterior being copied by the xerox copier.]
11-20-01 Here's somebody to look into-- This person has a story to tell, I'm sure. Nancy Shaffer (not my psychologist). Subject was the litigation support administrator at Akin Gump until about June 1988, when she was suddenly terminated (I heard it was because of insubordination). Subject preceded Christine ("Chris") Robertson as litigation support administrator. I worked for subject on one occasion in early May 1988 -- on a task for client "NFL" -- subject would remember me as the guy with the one-word vocabulary, to wit -- "OK." What's Shaffer's story?
11-21-01 Friend,-- I don't mind you coming in here and looking around. Just don't have sex on the rug. Here's some information on three former Akin Gump attorneys -- each with a story to tell. Mark Schwartz -- Subject was a recent law school graduate in 1988, when I first started at Akin Gump. He had degrees from Harvard and Penn. He was assigned to Eastern Airlines labor litigation. Subject was somewhat immature -- used to hang out with the legal assistants. Made "funny faces" behind David Callet at Lilliam Machado's going-away party in summer 1988. Lilliam Machado -- Legal assistant assigned to Eastern Airlines. At one time shared an office with J.D. Neary, before I started at firm. Subject was my supervisor when I started at firm in 1988. Subject headed Eastern Airlines litigation support. Subject left in summer 1988 to attend law school. Extremely intelligent. Subject was hired as an associate in 1991, upon graduating from law school. Clerked at firm in summer 1990, when I was seeing Dr. Palombo. Apparently left firm -- I see a listing for subject in telephone directory at 625-4349 (1101 30th Street). Stephen Schwartz -- subject was a young associate at firm in 1988, assigned to Eastern Airlines litigation. I vaguely recall that subject left firm in late 1988 or early 1989 to write a novel. What I recall is that he had a contract with a publisher for novel. What dirt did you dig up on Nancy Shaffer? You know, I still remember the tiny bust of Napoleon in her office.
11-22-01 and 11-23-01 (Double Issue) Here's someone to look into: Gary I. Rubin (Ph.D., J.D.). Rubin was an associate at Akin Gump. He had been an English professor at, I believe, Hofstra University. He had a doctorate (I assume, in English). So, law was a mid-life career change for him. He held a "writing seminar" for paralegals in February 1989, which I attended. Apparently subject left Akin Gump. There's a telephone directory listing for him at 898 5800 (1359 I Street). His son should be having his bar mitzvah around now -- or early 2002.
11-26-01 Here's another person with a story -- Steven Wrappe: Subject was a young associate at Akin Gump. He was a tax attorney. His office adjoined David Hardee's. Subject and Hardee shared a secretary, Lisa Hassel. Hassel's own husband, Christopher Hassel, was an attorney (but not at Akin Gump). In 1993 I happened to see Wrappe at the concourse outside the Giant Supermarket up the street. We chatted. It was Wrappe who told me that Akin Gump's securities practice was shot to hell (i.e., as of 1993).
11-27-01 Here's a name from the past -- Amy Smith. Subject was a paralegal at Akin Gump. She started her employment at the time I started my temporary assignment -- early March 1988; Why I recall her is that the Monday after Thanksgiving (1988) she asked me, on an elevator, how my Thanksgiving was, and I said, "Good. Surprisingly good." I was picking up baseball double-entendres at the library yesterday (11/26). Head librarian said to someone: "You're up next." Also the intonation on the name "Rohit" (RoHIT) -- I read this as relating to Dennis Race's disbarment.
11-28-01 I'm still loving my anti-psychotic meds. I had ideas of reference in the library yesterday. -- In the magazine exchange there was a magazine with a dinosaur on the cover. Then, the branch librarian was talking about "thesauri" -- I saw this as a reference to the record on appeal in my case -- Huge & Ancient. Also, note the fact that the word "thesauri" is a play on words -- Thesauri = The Sore Eye (What you get from reading the record on appeal).
11-29-01 Here's a person with a significant story to tell: Robert ("Bob") Dillon. Subject was a paralegal at Akin Gump who worked on toxic tort litigation and had contact with David Callet, Esq. During the period April 1991 to about July 1991 subject worked in a cubicle that adjoined my cubicle in the terrace level office that housed the litigation support group. It was in this environment that, reportedly, employees told management that they were afraid of me -- that they were afraid to work near me. Well, subject worked right next to me. Was he afraid? [Dillon was originally from Philadelphia, where he attended Catholic schools, and as of 1991 was an evening law student at Catholic University.]
11-30-01 A quiet day. By the way, the black ball to the right is either part of the plumbing or it's one of Vernon Jordan's testicles -- I can't tell which. What happened to Julie Herr? Doesn't she practice law anymore? [Julie Kitzes Herr, Esq. was an attorney at Akin Gump during my tenure.]
11-20-01 FYI. Adine Kernberg -- is a lawyer (born 1969) who practices in Boston, Massachusetts. She has degrees from Stanford & Columbia. Her father is Otto F. Kernberg, MD, president of the Int'l Psychoanalytic Assn., and an internationally prominent psychiatrist. Adine's mother is Paulina Kernberg, who, incidentally, was chosen by the Justice Department as the government's psychiatric consultant in the Elian Gonzalez case. [Adine Kernberg coauthored a book with Jane Ginsburg, a law professor at Columbia Law School, and the daughter of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.]
12-03-01 Here's another person to look into: Robert Berger. Subject was a paralegal at Akin Gump. Subject's interactions with me were uniformly normal. I didn't feel that I scarred him -- I had the feeling that I scarred the s--- out of the other paralegals. After I was fired -- it was in about late fall 1991 -- I was walking down Connecticut Avenue and Berger, who was with a group of friends, called out to me -- "Hey, Gar!" I was impressed by his behavior.
12-04-01 Slow news day. I thought Barbara (the librarian) was abreacting some overstimulation in the library, yesterday (12-3). She kept talking about some Russian-language publication. --I think she's too vulnerable to handle confidential information. They're closing in on Bobby!
12-5-01 I cut you some slack yesterday. But it's back to work today. Here's somebody to look into: Martin ("Marty") Isenberg: We were in the same graduating class in high school (230, 1971). We sat next to each other in ninth grade algebra class (Mr. Grant, teacher). I used to steal his homework, until he put his foot down. --I started early in my career of plagiarism. -- The high school yearbook lists "social worker" as his career goal. -- ANABRU -- If you don't get it, you don't get it.
12-6-01 Here's something to look into: Charles Davis. Subject is the supervisor of the OPS Division at the Cleveland Park Library. He was "absent without leave" (AWOL) last week and is in deep trouble. The head librarian (name?) personally traveled down to the home office to submit the necessary paperwork on subject. Subject knows everything about me. He used to work at Howard University.
[Note that in the above instance the Branch Librarian, Brian Brown, showed no concern whatsoever for the reasonable expectation of privacy of his employee, Charles Davis. A library patron, such as myself, should not know about the personal employment difficulties of a library employee. Yet, I do know. Why? Because the Branch Librarian couldn't keep his mouth shut in a public space. That's something else Brian and I have in common -- no respect for the legitimate privacy interests of other people.]
12-7-01 Check out my "new" floor lamp. I got it from the trash closet. All it needs is a new shade.-- I could start my own secondhand shop from the stuff people throw away here. See ya Monday. P.S. Still loving my anti-psychotic meds. I forgot to mention.-- I was watching a video of Puccini's opera "Tosca," conducted by Daniel Oren. So the conductor is up there on the podium, with his yarmulke on his head, and I'm thinking -- "How is it he's able to get all those goyim to sing in tune, but Malcolm and Earl couldn't." (By the way President Mitterand of France was in the audience).
12-10-01 I hit the jackpot this weekend. -- A whole computer. --That somebody threw out. I wonder if it works or if it can be repaired at a reasonable cost? I'm still waiting for somebody to throw away a wining Maryland lottery ticket. When that happens (and it will!) I'll be outta here-- See ya.
12-11-01 This is really a message for Jerry Seinfeld. I caught you on the "Today Show" (without the puffy short). You conducted yourself like a good Jewish boy. I was proud (or at least half of me) was proud of you. How's Malcolm?
12-12-01 Nothing to report. I still believe I'm under surveillance. (God bless those anti-psychotic meds). They (The Powers That Be) seem to have advised the spies in my environs to be more subtle and circumspect. You already have the names of everyone I've ever known. It's a small list. I miss Carlos and Hector. I think of them all the time ! ! !
12-13-01 Again, nothing to report. Except to note that things have been quiet in the library. Charles Davis is back. I think my psychologist has pretty much given up on me. It's a chore seeing her. I miss Hector.
12-14-01 I am missing you badly, Hector
12-17-01 Saturday (12/15), in the library, Velvel was talking on the phone, spelling a name to a caller, and said: "'K' as in 'Kissinger'" -- What meaning do you read into that? -- Just six more shopping days till Mathilde Wesendonk's birthday -- shop early. (Loving my anti-psychotic meds!!)
12-18-01 Yesterday (12/17) I had an idea of reference in the library -- (big surprise). Velvel was talking to a patron about a book called "The Secret Life of Plants" --We know what that means, don't we?
12-19-01 Here's an assignment: When I worked at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia I worked with a woman named Marianne Scott Das. She was multi-lingual and was able to read about nine different languages. She had a son named Milan Das who attended my high school (Central High School) several years after I graduated. He would have graduated in June 1977 (236th class). Milan Das was a contestant on the TV show "Jeopardy" several years ago. Marianne Das used to live in Pittsburgh -- 1122 Davis Avenue. I don't know if she knew Earl Segal! (Joke.) It was Marianne Das who, knowing I wanted to go to law school, gave me a copy of Justice William O. Douglas's autobiography, "Go East, Young Man." I think she saw something in me. (In terms of intellectual potential).
12-21-01 I've been summoned for jury duty, and am scheduled to appear on 1-17-02. I'm going to have some fun with this.
12-24-01 I'm taking 9 days off to celebrate Festivus. December 24 to January 1, 2002.
1-2-02 How was your Festivus? My Festivus was a real joy -- one of the best ever. It reminded me of my Festivus's from childhood, when the whole family would gather round the Festivus pole and sing Festivus carols. But back to business. I was excused from jury duty. Actually I was hoping I'd have to appear. --Then I was going to tell my story in person in open court -- "I am currently under surveillance by President Clinton." -- Believe me, I would have said that. Real attention grabber, I'm sure.
1-3-02 My psychiatrist said I can taper off my anti-psychotic meds. Be prepared for a wild and crazy guy who will emerge when the meds wear off!
November 15, 2004
Hey, buddy. How are things going down? Are they going down with pen and ink? Are you writing them down, putting them down on paper: leaving a record, creating a paper trail?
You were a history major, weren't you? University of Maryland? Richard Hofstadter, the late, great, historian, Richard Hofstadter, used to be a history professor at the University of Maryland (1942-1946). Did you know that? He died in 1970 before you matriculated. When did you matriculate at the University of Maryland, by the way? May I be so bold as to ask? Or do you consider that information too personal?
We're taking a change of course this week. Or some change in course-work, so to speak. I've prepared some primary source documents for you to review. That's the job of a historian, isn't it, Brian -- to review primary source material? The documents are directly pertinent to an issue you placed in controversy with the Metro DC Police, namely, my failure to take the anti-psychotic medication Zyprexa (Olanzapine) that was prescribed for me by Betsy Jane Cooper, MD. I'm sure you remember that unfortunate incident of several months ago, don't you?
Flashback to the year 2001. In October of that year, my then treating psychiatrist, Rhoda Ruttenberg, MD, prescribed the anti-psychotic medication Zyprexa. That was my first experience with that (or any) anti-psychotic medication. You remember that at that time I believed that the resident manager of my apartment building, David Castleberry (2000 - 2003), used to enter my apartment surreptitiously each day. I used to leave him a handwritten message taped to the inside of the front door. I had begun that practice in mid-June 2001 and continued writing notes and taping them to the door until the summer of 2003, when David Castleberry quit. The messages were addressed to "Friend." I pretended that I didn't know it was David Castleberry who was reading the notes. It was my (paranoid) belief that David Castleberry reported back to our mutual friends at Akin Gump the content of the message I left on the door each day. Our mutual friends then informed you at the library of the content of the daily message. I told my then treating psychologist, Nancy Shaffer, Ph.D., about my activity several times.
Well, I saved those messages for the precedential library; there's no precedent for what I'm doing. I am presenting the messages from the periods I was administered anti-psychotic medications (the messages from the period October 2001 to January 2002, while I was treated by Dr. Ruttenberg, are presented below; the messages from the period September 2002 to January 2003, while I was treated by Dr. Cooper, will be presented next week). In effect, I treated my clinical trial on Zyprexa (and later, Risperdal and Abilify) as a scientific experiment.
The messages monitor and memorialize my progress (or lack thereof) on the anti-psychotic meds. As you will see there was no improvement at all in my thinking. I remained as paranoid as ever. I continued to have ideas of reference. Moreover, taking the medication exacerbated my feelings of anger and vindictiveness ("my pain") toward the District government. My obsession with my employment experience at Akin Gump (1988-1991) did not wane in the least; and my obsession with the trivial goings on at the library did not abate.
This week I present the results of my trial on Zyprexa during the period October 2001 to January 2002, as prescribed by Rhoda Ruttenberg, MD. Next week I'll present the results of my trials on Risperdal and Abilify (September 2002 to January 2003), as prescribed by Betsy Jane Cooper, MD. The latter two drugs were as ineffective as the Zyprexa.
Legal Note. Under Murphy v. United Parcel Service (a U.S. Supreme Court case from the late 1990s), a decision interpreting the Americans With Disabilities Act, a prospective employer has a legal right to require a disabled person to remediate his disability to the extent feasible by medical or other means. Thus, as a matter of law, the following material (with all its lewd, obscene, and bizarre references) is directly material to any future job application I make. The documentation evidences the fact that the antipsychotic medications Zyprexa, Risperdal, and Abilify did not remediate my disability.
Wait till I start sending this documentation out to prospective employers. The s--- will really hit the fan. I'd love to send this material to individual U.S. Supreme Court Justices as part of an employment application for the position of law clerk, citing my legal duty under Murphy v. UPS. Remember, it was the DC Office of Corporation Counsel that said that I was fired (in part) because of my thoughts about masturbation, an allegation that Dennis Race did not object to. I guess that makes me a chronic "masturbator by estoppel." That's my disability, or at least part of it. And the following material shows that it's a condition that can't be remediated (at least with medication). Maybe the DC Department of Mental Health has a duty to provide me with a nubile, young babe. "Hey, it's the only thing that'll cure me of my compulsive masturbatory tendencies, Dr. Barbot!"
Professor Richard Hofstadter was said to have found congenial the role of "detached observer," and was described as having "a melancholy knowledge of the shoals and traps of human nature." Consider the following material the accumulated observations of a detached, medicated psychotic struggling with a melancholy knowledge, which is the product of his own creation.
Check you out next week, buddy, with installment II. By the way, Brian, would it really be too much of an imposition for you to call me? I'm one lonely bugger. Have a heart. How about a fax?
_________________________________________________________
The Diaries.
10-3-01 Tomorrow is my big day with my psychiatrist -- she's scheduled to prescribe antipsychotic meds for my delusional disorder -- delusional disorder -- HA! That's a joke. Eventually, the truth is going to come out, and there's going to be some high-profile criminal prosecutions. You think I'm going to take it lying down that a psychiatrist at a city-run clinic pumped me full of meds that might have irreversible side effects? No! I'm going to see that Dr. Ruttenberg gets screwed. It's like Ann Richards said about Ross Perot -- Her recommendation for dealing with him: "Whatever you do, don't make him angry." TONY [WILLIAMS:] -- Does multi-million dollar lawsuit mean anything to you. Hint -- It doesn't go with a bow tie!
[cf. Written statement addressed to DC branch librarian Brian Brown dated April 16, 2004 -- "People will pay for my pain." "I'm no longer taking the antipsychotic meds that were prescribed for me." "I'm in a dark place." "Trouble for you, fun for me." I explained to Metro DC Police Officer J.E. Williams (Badge 1226, Second District) on Wednesday April 21, 2004 that the message to Brian Brown (dated 4-16-04) concerned my thoughts about the use of legal process, and not violence, to vindicate my damages. The above entry (dated 10-3-01) supports the truth of my statement to the Metro DC Police.]
10-04-01 We gotta do a quickie today, 'cause I got places to go, people to see, things to do. My whole life doesn't revolve around you, guy. Here it is-- The tenant in 226 -- Don't know her name. She looks like a female phys. ed. teacher. Thing is-- She used to be very friendly with Beverly, the former front desk person. They chatted fairly often. Assignment -- What does 226 know? By the way, Dave C. wasn't his chipper self this morning. What's up with him. More tomorrow!
10-05-01 I start on my antipsychotic meds tonight. As for an end to these letters, don't hold your breath. Now to your assignment: During the entire period of my early tenure at Akin Gump (beginning March 1988) there was a paralegal at the firm named Jeffrey Wertman -- a recent college graduate who worked in the labor group on Eastern Airlines. The same project I worked on. Subject left the firm in late summer 1988 to attend American University Law School. He would have graduated in about 1991. I know that according to an entry in Martindale-Hubble (the lawyer's directory) subject practiced in Miami, Florida. Subject won a writing competition in law school. I believe Richard Wyatt, Esq., a partner at Akin Gump, wrote a letter of recommendation for subject that should be on file at AU. Subject resided at 3701 Connecticut Avenue--next door.
[Included is a magazine photo of President George W. Bush leading a cabinet meeting. I've written as a caption "Inside the Diary Room: 'I've got some surprises up my sleeve that will drop the country's jaw -- if I get to play it my way.'"] [The note is a paraphrase of a statement made during the summer of 2001 by Hardy Ames Hill, a contestant on the CBS-TV reality series, "Big Brother."]
10-08-01 So far my jaw hasn't dropped. -- Just my pants! [Note appended to magazine photo from "Vanity Fair" magazine, depicting a female model touching the naked buttocks of a male model, whose pants have been pulled down to expose his posterior.]
10-9-01 Please thank Mr. Castleberry for turning the heat on. It's delightful. Now to serious business. My mother worked with a young man named Steven ("Steve") Miller in the mid 70s at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. Miller graduated from Central High School in the early to mid-sixties. He worked as an editor at the Institute. What's his story? Miller later married a coworker named Joann Wagner (presumably, not the same individual who works as an editor at "The Journal of the American Psychiatric Association," published here in DC. (Her name is Joann Wagner also).
10-9-01 [Time Magazine photo of President George W. Bush seated between Secretary of State Colin Powell and Vice President Dick Cheney, with my handwritten caption]: I don't want you to think I'm declaring war against Islam, or anything like that, I'm not. It's not only who you condemn -- who you declare a pariah state -- It's who you ally yourself with. When somebody says they don't have a problem with how those [m-f'ing] animals act, and say "Oh, they still haven't done anything to me -- that's OK" -- then you're guilty by association in my book. [The note is a paraphrase of a statement made during the summer of 2001 by Hardy Ames Hill, a contestant on the CBS-TV reality series, "Big Brother."]
10-10-01 Maybe a lawyer like Daniel Daniels is somebody I ought to work for -- Harvard grad (probably smarter than Chuck Reischel) -- and involved in theater. But as Michael Madigan says -- Law is theater (right, and in Akin Gump's case it's farce). [Note appended to cutout portion of ALI-ABA Professional Skills Program -- "Public Speaking for Lawyers," scheduled for Friday November 30, 2001 at the Renaissance Hotel in Washington, DC. Program is to feature Daniel L. Daniels, who, the program states, recently appeared as Nicely Johnson in an off-Broadway (Darien, Connecticut) production of "Guys and Dolls." A graduate of Dartmouth College and Harvard Law School, Mr. Daniels also is a member of the Stamford, Connecticut law firm, Cummings & Lockwood.]
10-11-01 Assignment for today: Check into Phillip Feigen. Subject was a legal assistant at Akin Gump from midyear 1988 to 1990. Worked in the labor practice group on Eastern Airlines. Worked a lot of overtime. Assigned to office on second floor, which he shared with another legal assistant, Jesse Raben. Left firm to attend law school (Catholic University) -- would have graduated in about 1993. Took a trip to Spain. Subject & Raben were sent to National Airport in 1989 to videotape striking Eastern pilots. Telephone directory lists a "Phillip G. Feigen" at 2550 M Street (office -- no. 457-6000). (I started my antipsychotic meds last night).
10-12-01 Who's the common traveler on this floor? [note appended to first page of the October 12, 2001 issue of the gay newspaper, "The Washington Blade"]
[appended to 10-12-01 is handwritten note written on Smithsonian Institution promotional material:] Do you think Mary Blum left this for me intentionally in the lobby? -- Antipsychotic meds, what's up with them? [Mary Agnes Blum is an elderly tenant who resides in apartment 334].
10-12-01 Assignment. Check into Robert M. Landau, Esq. Subject used to be an associate at Akin Gump -- while I worked there. He's now at another firm located at 1350 Connecticut Ave., NW (955-8305). He specializes in ERISA (The Employee Retirement Income Security Act). When I first started working at the firm I submitted a written reference to the legal assistant administrator (Margarita Babb) that was written by a lawyer for whom I clerked while I attended law school (Thomas Jennings, Esq.). (Philadelphia). Jennings specialized in ERISA law and his letter refers to that fact. Landau and I had no verbal contact, but I had formed the impression he knew who I was. One of subject's current colleagues speaks fluent German.
10-15-01 A paranoia update. Last night I increased my antipsychotic med dose to 5 mg. -- considered the starting dose by the manufacturer (Lilly). "Ideas of reference" Saturday (10-13-01) at the library-- 1) Two xeroxed notices were posted at the circulation desk. These were for upcoming movies they were planning to show at the library auditorium. (The library shows old movies on a regular basis free). One notice was for "Sunset Boulevard" -- which was xeroxed at the enlargement scale that they usually post such notices. Then, very noticeably, a second notice for another movie was posted nearby in considerABLY LARGER TYPE -- A NOTICE FOR "STALAG 17" STARRING ROBERT STRAUSS (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH ROBERT STRAUSS THE ACTOR). 2) In the magazine exchange box there was the following "AAA WORLD" [magazine] featuring a photo of Benjamin Franklin's statue at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. Last week I wrote to you about Steve Miller, who worked at the Franklin Institute (I see a connection). (Antipsychotic meds -- what's up with them?) This mag was on top of a pile. [Appended is cover of "AAA WORLD"]
10-16-01 Meds update. I took 5 mg of antipsychotic meds last night. No change so far in my cognitive functioning. Give you an example of how I still misinterpret facts and arrive at faulty conclusions: Recently I was looking through my high school yearbook and I came across the entry for a student who was in two of my classes in the 11th grade. Perry Rubenstein (a slimy heterosexual). I happened to notice, at the top of the column, an entry for "Howard Rothman" (I have no idea who he is). I noticed that they lived a few blocks from each other. Both also gave a smart-ass response to "Career Choice" (Kenyan gov't official). Both look like dickheads. Paranoid conclusion: They were friends, possibly close friends.
10-16-01 For the chapter: "Not Ant Tracks, You Moron"
MALCOLM LASSMAN: Looks like we got a real anthrax problem here. What do you suggest we do?
DENNIS RACE: I don't know. My advice, we call an exterminator. I'm thinking, -- You get rid of the ants, you'll get rid of their tracks. But that's just a guess. Let's call the experts and get their opinion.
10-17-01 Last night I increased my antipsychotic med dose to 7.5 mg. As of now -- no harm/no foul -- so to speak. Ideas of Reference (The illness that got me fired from my job -- apparently -- they have not changed). Yesterday (10-16-01) I chatted briefly with Barbara -- the librarian. I asked her if anyone had commented negatively on the new computer desks -- they are somewhat uncomfortable. She said "no" -- but that she personally finds that she has to strain her neck to use the computer. She then asked my permission to conduct a very brief experiment before I got on the computer. She wanted to see if a wheelchair bound person would have a problem. -- She had a wheelchair bound patron roll over to a computer to see if it was feasible and tolerable. The wheelchair bound patron said (I believe -- she was smiling) that everything was fine. During my chat with the librarian (Barbara) -- she use the phrase "guinea-pig" -- which I interpreted to refer to persons of Italian heritage (Dr. Palombo? Mario Cuomo? Mayor Giuliani? --Who knows.) Also she talked about having to go through "contortions" to use the new computer desk. I thought that referenced to "Houdini" and that that reference concerned a statement I made on the computer in which I compared myself to Houdini (no one -- objectively -- would have access to my computer files -- but I believe -- in paranoid fashion -- that they do).
[The actions of William Dacosta in calling the police on April 21, 2004 confirmed that, in fact, the librarians can access a public computer's files. I could not and did not know that fact as of October 17, 2001.]
Also-- On Monday I added material to my autobiography -- a quotation from a magazine article by Adam Gopnik about the New York Twin Tower Bombing (Cuomo, Giuliani, and Dr. Palombo are all native New Yorkers, by the way). The article was titled "The City and the Pillars." Yesterday, someone left the following magazine on top of other magazines in the magazine trunk in the library. Note the pillars. (Antipsychotic meds -- what's up with them?) [The referenced magazine is "Washington Entertaining's 2001-2002 Events Yearbook & Calendar: 1000 Activities -- Event & Site Services Guide." The cover features a photo of the huge interior pillars of the National Building Museum lobby, here in Washington.]
10-18-01 Took 7.5 mg antipsychotic meds last night for my ideas of reference and my bizarre behavior. These are two of the main reasons Dennis Race said I was not suitable for employment as of October 1991 -- ten years ago. This morning I had a really good masturbation session. A good time was had by all -- if you know what I mean. An older guy, late fifties, maybe, smiled when he saw me occupied with my life's work.
[In the fall of 2001 I used to masturbate in front of my apartment window in front of the construction workers who were erecting an apartment building (3883 Connecticut Avenue) adjacent to my building. I told my then treating psychologist, Nancy Shaffer, Ph.D., about my activity.]
I thought, "You know, maybe Bobby [i.e., Robert Strauss] would enjoy this. Maybe I should make a video and send it to him." Speaking of Bobby -- we could have been so happy together. But George [i.e., President George H.W. Bush] ruined it for me! George!! He sends Bobby off to Russia, and I'm left here-- Speaking of Bobby, I had an idea of reference this very morning as I stepped outside my door. Somebody dropped (or placed) three pennies outside my door -- I spotted them on the floor, arranged in a row like this -- only further apart. [three pennies are scotch-taped to paper] Today -- (10/18) happens to be Bobby's birthday, and I thought -- well, let's say I assigned the following meaning to the pennies -- the following thoughts or associations flashed in my mind. --Bobby's 83'rd birthday; --coins -- autobiography -- inheritance; death; presidents (here, President Lincoln); Walt Whitman ("When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloomed"); Robert Rubin (Secretary of the Treasury); Theme of the Three Caskets (lead, Silver, Gold) [a reference to "The Merchant of Venice"].
10-19-01 I took 7.5 mg antipsychotic meds last night. -- See the change? I had a good masturbation session this morning. -- The train never pulled into the station, so to speak -- if you know what I mean. With all these meds I'm taking, I ain't gettin' nothin' -- except a little juice at the bottom of the tube. Here's the thing -- even if the meds were to cure me, well-- Let's say, if I had a partner (man, woman, or sheep) -- I wouldn't be able to do anything in a genital sense with these meds, it's like I'm all dressed up with no place to go -- (or come).
10-22-01 Assignment for today: Check into an individual named Howell ("Howie") Brister. Subject was born in about 1947 (son of Melvin & Claire Brister, who, until 1978, resided at 1613 Barringer Street in Philadelphia). Subject was in my brother-in-law's graduating class in college. (B.S., 1969 -- Philadelphia College of Textiles & Science). Subject used to drive a yellow Camaro, subject married in his faith.
10-23-01 I took 7.5 mg antipsychotic meds last night. Does Dr. Ruttenberg know what trouble she could be getting herself into ? ? ?
10-23-01 Assignment for today: Look into a person named-- John Hillerman. I worked with subject during the summers of 1970 and 1971 at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. It was a summer job for both of us. Subject was about 3 years older than me, and graduated college in spring 1972. What makes subject significant is who he was related to. Subject's cousin was another Franklin Institute employee named "Pat" (Patricia) Devlin. (Born about 1942). Devlin was romantically involved with, and later married, an individual named Alec Peters (born about 1912). The pair were married in about late 1970 or early 1971. The couple subsequently had several children. Alec Peters founded the department "Science Information Services" at The Franklin Institute, a unit that was a major profit center for the Institute. The unit (SIS) grew to include offices in Tokyo (Japan), Munich (Germany), and Rockville, MD. Peters was an immigrant from Bucharest, Rumania, and had served 10 years in a Soviet Prison (Lubyanka -- headquarters of the former KGB, in central Moscow, USSR). His biography reads like a Victor Hugo novel, I do not know why the Soviets imprisoned him. CIA or FBI may have information on him. Peters was imprisoned, I believe, after WWII (from about 1945 - 1955). Peters was married to his first wife, before WWII. Couple had a son. Peters rejoined wife after release from Soviet prison. Peters was fluent in Russian and German, in addition to, of course, Rumanian & English. First wife was Jewish, and died in about 1969 or 1970. Peters was reportedly Jewish but concealed his origins. (Peters apparently was not his birth name). Peters did not wear yarmulke at his wife's funeral. Peters was named vice-president of the Franklin Institute in the early 1970s. Peters was terminated by the Franklin Institute in about 1982 because of a conflict of interest -- His wife, Devlin, had started her own company that bid on the same contracts as The Franklin Institute -- The SIS Department's income was based largely on U.S. government contracts.
THIS HAS INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT WRITTEN ALL OVER IT!
P.S. The Franklin Institute Research Laboratories was designed by Robert Venturi. I, personally, gravitate to the work of renowned postmodern architects and theorists Robert Venturi and Denise Scott Brown, because it looks so smart and so subtle. As to furniture, I'm not a great fan of George Nakashima, like Bernie and Aida Epstein.
You remember last week, I told you I had paranoid ideas about three pennies someone had left outside my door? Well this morning (10/23), I just read in my high school handbook that my high school French teacher Linda Schubert Miller, who I wrote about to you in the past -- was the sponsor of my high school Stamp and Coin Club. Amazing, huh?
10-24-01 Still taking my anti-psychotic meds. Notice any changes in me? I'm still exhausted from all the writing I did yesterday. I guess you're pooped-out from the breadth and scope of your last assignment. -- By the way, how are you doing with that? Have you contacted the Bureau or the Agency about Alec Peters? I felt a lot of ideas of reference in the library yesterday. --Barbara, in talking to a patron on the telephone, used the phrase "A stranger on the train" -- which I saw as a reference to my dream "Those Who Love Me Can Take The Train." She kept using the words "weird" and "strange" -- I felt that referred to me, but not necessarily in a bad way. Then she took on this strange kind of what I can only describe as a "laughing" tone as she spoke -- it had a regressed, histrionic, or "as-if" quality. --Then Charles Davis used the phrase "50,000 watt amplification system" -- or some such phrase. I thought that referred to my listening to classical music when I was growing up on Barringer Street -- and our neighbors -- the Bristers. Funny (odd, or bizarre) -- after all these years I can still remember issues relating to classical music and the Bristers. --One evening, coming home from work, Mel Brister told me that he & Claire were going to see Bizet's opera Carmen at the Robin Hood Dell. --Claire Brister said she studied classical piano when she was growing up (her father was a pharmacist). --Claire once asked me if I knew anything about the Saint-Saens piano concertos (Who?? What??) --One afternoon I heard Claire playing (repeatedly -- the 3rd movement of the Brahms 2nd piano concerto. --I heard Claire playing the first movement of the Mahler 10th symphony. -- In the mid-seventies, classical radio station WFLN broadcast, on successive weekends, the Furtwaengler performances of Wagner's Ring operas. -- Claire said she was listening to that. --In about 1977 or 1978 -- Claire took my mother to the Robin Hood Dell to hear the Philadelphia Orchestra perform "The Rite of Spring" by Stravinsky. My mother couldn't stand it. --In the spring of 1968 Holly Brister asked me if I liked the Beethoven 5th symphony -- I said "no" -- I prefer the Third. By the way, ask Mel or Claire how their friend Irene is.
This is Barringer Street in Philadelphia where my family resided from April 1966 to 1980. Nice, huh? (It looks like the London suburbs, Mrs. Joyce would say). [Note refers to attached photograph].
10-25-01 Variety is the spice of life, so they say, so-- I figured I'd try some yellow paper for a change. You've been (you and your handlers) have been working very hard lately, so here's a break. --Just some fundamentally useless information that simply gives me a chance to show off my memory. A couple of days ago I mentioned Bernie Epstein. Following is a list of what I recall about Mr. Epstein's musical tastes. --Predilection for the work of J.S. Bach --Adolescent taste for Wagner -- Then moved on to Mahler & Bruckner. Then "outgrew" Wagner (Mahler & Bruckner) --First opera he ever saw was Strauss's "Salome" --when he was in his early teens. -- Music Education major at Temple University.-- Liked the symphonies of Robert Schumann. -- Wife was classically-trained pianist. -- At party Epsteins gave at their cork-lined home (like Proust in his cord-lined room) (actually, only the music room was cork-lined) in April 1970 (during Pesach "Sorry, we're not serving any bread products -- because of Passover") -- wife Aida entertained the guests with Schumann's Trauemerei, among other works (I think she said she was not fond of Chopin -- HA! -- Wagner loved Chopin, and used to ask his father-in-law to play Chopin for him). --Said he still found Mahler's Kindertotenlieder of interest (A psychoanalyst would link up the Trauemerei (from Kinderscenen) with Kindertotenlieder. By the way, Mr. Smarty-pants-- did you know that Mahler quotes the Trauemerei melody in several of his symphonies -- It's one of the main themes in the first movement of Mahler's number 9 (nine) -- in a grotesquely-varied form. The theme also appears in movement 1 of Mahler's Seventh. --Had a taste for the Bartok opera "Bluebeard's Castle." By the way -- I saw Dave Castleberry yesterday in his convertible -- How is it that such a geeky-looking guy drives such a cool car -- (Don't tell him I said that ! ! ! )
10-26-01 I took 7.5 mg anti-psychotic meds last night (Zyprexa). Do you notice any change -- Talk to Dr. Sack about this -- Maybe he would have some ideas. I was feeling a lot of self-referential thinking in the library yesterday (10/25). Barbara or Hillary were using the word "trap" -- as in "It's a trap" or "entrapment." Peter & the head librarian were talking -- I thought that referred to me -- not so much the context of what they were saying -- but the idea of, possibly, male friendship or mentoring. I felt they got some news that I was a very intelligent fellow. This crap -- this acting-out in the library just doesn't stop. -- 10 YEARS of this fucking crap. (But I love it!)
10-29-01 Only 20 something days till turkey day. Today, Monday, like most Mondays, is a slow news day. Nothing happens on Sunday. I've forgotten what happened on Saturday-- No fear, I still have something to write. This is some additional information about two other Rumanians who worked at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. FELICIA ROGERS: Born about 1920; from Bucharest, Rumania; fled Nazis; grandfather gunned down by Nazis on street in Bucharest for target practice; husband (Claude Rogers) was a medical doctor; staunch supporter of Richard Nixon -- saw him as person who stood up to the communists; she was a Wagner opera fan; spoke fluent French, German, Rumanian, -- and, of course, the Queen's English; attended my mother's funeral in 1980. LYDIA ERDELYI: Born in German-speaking sector of Rumania; spoke fluent Russian, German; husband was mathematics professor at Temple University; on one occasion, asked Hilliard Cohen [Central High School, 224th class, 1965] to purchase for her a Russian-language edition of, I think it was, Solzhenitsyn's "Gulag Archipelago"; husband was from Hungarian-speaking sector of Rumania. If you don't know -- Rumania is linguistically diverse -- with some parts made up of German speakers, Hungarians, and, of course, Rumanians.
[Notes appended to photograph from magazine:] Lockhart, Texas, ca. 1918. Picture of Charles Strauss's dry-goods store. It's where Bob Strauss's father made his first million.
I whacked off here on this table this morning. I'm LOVING my anti-psychotic meds!
10-30-01 Just some odds & ends today. LYDIA ERDELYI -- It was Lydia Erdelyi who translated my letter from Gertrud Strobel, dated May 1972, in response to my inquiry to the Wagner Archives in Bayreuth, Germany, about the foundation stone of the Wagner festival theater. -- Judge Joyce Hens Green (Judge on U.S. District Court, DC, who decided McNeil v. Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld): her father was a psychiatrist. --My ideas of reference have not diminished. Yesterday Hillary Fennel at the Cleveland Park Library used the term "boot" of "reboot" the computer. I interpreted "boot" as relating to me. And the content referred to someone of Italian heritage (who said something very complimentary about me). -- "Gee, I wonder what happened in that laboratory?" Italy is shaped like a boot. --Incidentally, Hilliard Cohen went to elementary school with my sister -- they were in the same class in 6th grade -- Olga Kaempfer's 6th grade class.
10-31-01 Did you ever hear the one about the traveling salesman? By the way -- Tonight's party -- will it be wet or dry -- If there's alcohol, I'll be there! Check one: WET / / DRY / /
11-01-01 Still loving my anti-psychotic meds. Here's an interesting thing I recall from high school. But first, what it was that brought this memory back to me. It's a sentence from the final portions of my autobiography: "It was natural that a youth of exceptionally active mind should raise some questions about the doctrines transmitted in the synagogue school." I can remember being on the "L" bus going home from school and Fred Cohen (229) was talking to a friend. I was eavesdropping -- as Chuck [Reischel] would say. Subject was saying that he thought it was questionable that a rabbi should be paid for his work on the Sabbath. He saw an inherent conflict between a rabbi accepting money from his congregation (as consideration for his services)-- and at the same time keeping the Sabbath. Eric-- Fred is now an OB-GYN. [Even as a teenager I was interested in the moral qualities of my peers; here, I was intrigued by a fellow student's (Fred Cohen's) concerns about an issue of rabbinical ethics. As an adult I seemed sensitive to the moral qualities in the law clerk Glenn Fine at the law firm of Hogan & Hartson. Do you see why the Pope would be interested in me?]
11-02-01 Missed you at the 3801 party Wednesday night -- By the way, what do you look like? Assignment: You may want to look into a person named Arthur Koren (Central High School, 231st class, 1972). Koren lived in my neighborhood when I was growing up; was 1 year younger than me; was friendly with Mark Needleman, (Central, 229). Koren's sister was a beauty contest winner (Bonnie Koren). She attended my sister's high school. I think she was my sister's age. Coincidentally, Koren was in the same graduating class as Emanuel Garcia, M.D. (Dr. Eissler's literary executor) and Murray Cohen (Fred Cohen's younger brother). --Get on it ! ! !
11-5-01 Did you telephone Elizabeth Joyce to wish her a happy Guy Fawlkes Day? It's a slow Monday -- as usual. Brief assignment-- In high school-- my sophomore and junior years: There were two students in French class whose respective names I recall. I can recall their two names-- One was Fred Cohen (229) and the other was David Seltzer. I have no idea why I remember Seltzer. Maybe because it's the number one beverage in America today -- "Pardon me, may I have a seltzuh?" -- Not salsa, seltzuh.
11-6-01 Here's someone else to look into: Audrey Britt-- Subject was an African-American female who worked in the Computer Applications Department at the law firm of Hogan & Hartson -- From 1986 - 1987. She had a law degree and did some legal representation on her own (i.e., not in connection with Hogan). She shared an office with Crag W. Dye (when he was still young and good-looking). She would have known about Daniel Cutler distributing marijuana to fellow employees in about March 1987.
11-6-01 These were gifts to me from Felicia Rogers (book & postcards).
11-06-07 More on Audrey Britt. -- John Douglas, eat your heart out! If you were to ask Audrey Britt her impression of me, she would emphasize my shyness. How do I know that? Because I can recall two specific instances that related to money & wealth, which Audrey talked about (i.e., something desirable, or something envied or coveted.) -- And in my working out of the problem unconscious envy is negated by conscious attributions of shyness. --In about early January 1987, Audrey said to me, "Could you lend me some money, a thousand dollars, maybe?" (She was joking--it was a reference to the fact that Christmas week [1986] I had worked about 83 hours and had earned about $1,000. --In summer 1987, as we walked out of Hogan's office at 555 Thirteenth St., she pointed to a Marriott Hotel across the street and said: "That Marriott is owned by a very wealthy family, yes, a very wealthy family owns that Marriott Company." Coincidentally, in fall 1986, Daniel Cutler -- in a joking reference -- asked me if I had picked up my rent checks from all my rental properties. Yes, I'll be blunt -- I think Audrey Britt and Daniel Cutler were both envious anti-Semites. Have you noticed? My apartment is taking on that "fag" decorator look?
11-07-01 Two weeks until T-Day. I'm thinking of inviting Carlos, Jorge & Umberto. I have the feeling things are happening with the investigation. The library personnel seem to be powerfully overstimulated, and are discharging the overstimulation by emphasizing situation-appropriate words & phrase and behaviors. Here are some words and phrases-- "Don't be shy" -- Free (=Louis Freeh?) -- Tuna (=like a dolphin caught in a tuna net) -- Mark (Mark Needleman -- yesterday "Mark" a friend of Velvel came to visit) -- [Hillary said to a student patron:] "Are you a junior high student? -- You want information on floods? That's too broad -- Floods can be caused by any number of things -- a dam breaking, for example. You need to narrow that down. Now, if the subject were hurricanes, that would be a specific thing."
11-8-01 In late July 1998, I started to see a psychologist named Lisa Osborn. I think my first session with her was Friday July 31, 1998. Be that as it may. The day before I had my first consult with Lisa Osborn, somebody had left the attached magazine on a table in the laundry room, here, at 3801. It was uncanny when I met Lisa Osborn because she resembles Helen Hunt. I told Dr. Osborn about this. [Appended is cover of February 1998 issue of "Biography" Magazine featuring a photo of the actress Helen Hunt.]
10-9-01 Brief Assignment-- My English teacher in the tenth grade (10th grade: 1968-1969 school year) was an individual named Thomas Horan. Subject was working on his Ph.D. thesis on none other than James Joyce -- Specifically, "Ulysses." Find out more!
11-12-01 This will show how I will pick up some trivial detail from my environment concerning someone I don't even know -- and retain that detail in my mind, indefinitely. This concerns David Rosenbaum (229th class, Central High School, 1970). Subject was in the first violin section of the orchestra. I once eavesdropped on a conversation he was having with another student (he played the clarinet -- and was blind in one eye). Subject sounded like he was in some adolescent funk, and was saying -- "I wish I could do something creative." [David Rosenbaum, Ph.D., is now a professor of psychology at The Pennsylvania State University at College Park, my alma mater.]
11-13-01 Here's another assignment. Jack Byk and his wife: Subject was employed as a computer specialist at the Franklin Institute while I worked there. Subject & wife were both from Vienna (Austria not Virginia); they were Jews who emigrated (the polite way to put it) -- the Anschluss and all that. Subject & wife were at the company dinner at Franklin Hall in December 1977. I was drunk as a skunk at the dinner & Mrs. Byk talked me down -- figuratively and literally (I had tried to climb atop the statue of Benjamin Franklin. On one occasion, Jack Byk said to me -- Do you have any friends? I lied & said "Yes." He said: "I'm surprised to hear that." I said: "Why's that?" He said: "Your interests. I have a son your age, and you are totally different from him -- He has no interest in classical music -- I don't see you having anything in common with young people your age." When I left the company he gave me a piece of advice: "Stay away from alcohol." Sharon Miriam White Glick [now married to Kenneth Glick, Esq.] had a nonsexual crush on Jack Byk. If you talk to Jack Byk, tell him I didn't take his advice -- exactly. I haven't stayed away from liquor-- I just steer clear of statues of Benjamin Franklin. Works like a charm.
11-14-01 Nunc Pro Tunc. (I still have to make up one day -- I know that.) Here's an assignment: Richard Krangel. Subject lived on same street as Perry Rubenstein (slimy heterosexual). Krangel was in my graduating class in high school (230, 1971). Subject and I attended the same elementary school (Rowan Elementary). I believe we weren't in any classes together in high school -- as far as I recall. We had no contact whatsoever in high school. I think in 3rd grade (Mrs. Myers) subject was in the advanced reading group that read from the "advanced" book, "Fun and Frolic." Krangel resided at 127 W. Walnut Drive. Perry Rubenstein (a slimy heterosexual) resided at 114 W. Walnut Drive. Krangel appears to have been a nonjoiner -- He doesn't list any extra-curricular activities.
11-15-01 Nothing to report today. See ya! Have to go take my antipsychotic meds--
11-16-01 Back on schedule. Here's info on two other Central High School alums. Murray Marion (230, 1971). We were in same graduating class. I had no contact at all with Marion. The only reason I mention him, the only significance he has, is that we had the same private piano teacher, Elisabeth Griffith. I happened to see him perform at my piano teacher's recital. He was an advanced student -- a very fine pianist. Toby Apel (229, 1970). Apel was a year ahead of me. He played the viola in the school orchestra (same instrument as Sidney Rothstein, the conductor). Apel was an outstanding musician -- I believe he was a professional musician. We were in the same French class in school year 1967-1968 (Miss Proctor). I remember schmoozing with Apel.
11-19-01 Still loving my anti-psychotic meds. They are costing the District about $100.00/month. But, hey, it's just money. When I was growing up on 17th Street in Philadelphia, there were neighbors who resided down the street, a family named Hershberg (spelling?). There was an older brother Bruce (my sister's age) and a younger brother, Robert Hershberg, who was my age. I believe Akin Gump contacted these people in 1991. Anti-psychotic meds have not changed my opinion. The Hershberg family moved from our neighborhood to Vineland, New Jersey, in about 1962 or 1963.
11-19-01 Just in case you're wondering why they fired me. -- I ask you: Was this so wrong? [Appended is a photograph from a magazine that depicts a young man sitting on top of a xerox machine in an office setting, with his naked posterior being copied by the xerox copier.]
11-20-01 Here's somebody to look into-- This person has a story to tell, I'm sure. Nancy Shaffer (not my psychologist). Subject was the litigation support administrator at Akin Gump until about June 1988, when she was suddenly terminated (I heard it was because of insubordination). Subject preceded Christine ("Chris") Robertson as litigation support administrator. I worked for subject on one occasion in early May 1988 -- on a task for client "NFL" -- subject would remember me as the guy with the one-word vocabulary, to wit -- "OK." What's Shaffer's story?
11-21-01 Friend,-- I don't mind you coming in here and looking around. Just don't have sex on the rug. Here's some information on three former Akin Gump attorneys -- each with a story to tell. Mark Schwartz -- Subject was a recent law school graduate in 1988, when I first started at Akin Gump. He had degrees from Harvard and Penn. He was assigned to Eastern Airlines labor litigation. Subject was somewhat immature -- used to hang out with the legal assistants. Made "funny faces" behind David Callet at Lilliam Machado's going-away party in summer 1988. Lilliam Machado -- Legal assistant assigned to Eastern Airlines. At one time shared an office with J.D. Neary, before I started at firm. Subject was my supervisor when I started at firm in 1988. Subject headed Eastern Airlines litigation support. Subject left in summer 1988 to attend law school. Extremely intelligent. Subject was hired as an associate in 1991, upon graduating from law school. Clerked at firm in summer 1990, when I was seeing Dr. Palombo. Apparently left firm -- I see a listing for subject in telephone directory at 625-4349 (1101 30th Street). Stephen Schwartz -- subject was a young associate at firm in 1988, assigned to Eastern Airlines litigation. I vaguely recall that subject left firm in late 1988 or early 1989 to write a novel. What I recall is that he had a contract with a publisher for novel. What dirt did you dig up on Nancy Shaffer? You know, I still remember the tiny bust of Napoleon in her office.
11-22-01 and 11-23-01 (Double Issue) Here's someone to look into: Gary I. Rubin (Ph.D., J.D.). Rubin was an associate at Akin Gump. He had been an English professor at, I believe, Hofstra University. He had a doctorate (I assume, in English). So, law was a mid-life career change for him. He held a "writing seminar" for paralegals in February 1989, which I attended. Apparently subject left Akin Gump. There's a telephone directory listing for him at 898 5800 (1359 I Street). His son should be having his bar mitzvah around now -- or early 2002.
11-26-01 Here's another person with a story -- Steven Wrappe: Subject was a young associate at Akin Gump. He was a tax attorney. His office adjoined David Hardee's. Subject and Hardee shared a secretary, Lisa Hassel. Hassel's own husband, Christopher Hassel, was an attorney (but not at Akin Gump). In 1993 I happened to see Wrappe at the concourse outside the Giant Supermarket up the street. We chatted. It was Wrappe who told me that Akin Gump's securities practice was shot to hell (i.e., as of 1993).
11-27-01 Here's a name from the past -- Amy Smith. Subject was a paralegal at Akin Gump. She started her employment at the time I started my temporary assignment -- early March 1988; Why I recall her is that the Monday after Thanksgiving (1988) she asked me, on an elevator, how my Thanksgiving was, and I said, "Good. Surprisingly good." I was picking up baseball double-entendres at the library yesterday (11/26). Head librarian said to someone: "You're up next." Also the intonation on the name "Rohit" (RoHIT) -- I read this as relating to Dennis Race's disbarment.
11-28-01 I'm still loving my anti-psychotic meds. I had ideas of reference in the library yesterday. -- In the magazine exchange there was a magazine with a dinosaur on the cover. Then, the branch librarian was talking about "thesauri" -- I saw this as a reference to the record on appeal in my case -- Huge & Ancient. Also, note the fact that the word "thesauri" is a play on words -- Thesauri = The Sore Eye (What you get from reading the record on appeal).
11-29-01 Here's a person with a significant story to tell: Robert ("Bob") Dillon. Subject was a paralegal at Akin Gump who worked on toxic tort litigation and had contact with David Callet, Esq. During the period April 1991 to about July 1991 subject worked in a cubicle that adjoined my cubicle in the terrace level office that housed the litigation support group. It was in this environment that, reportedly, employees told management that they were afraid of me -- that they were afraid to work near me. Well, subject worked right next to me. Was he afraid? [Dillon was originally from Philadelphia, where he attended Catholic schools, and as of 1991 was an evening law student at Catholic University.]
11-30-01 A quiet day. By the way, the black ball to the right is either part of the plumbing or it's one of Vernon Jordan's testicles -- I can't tell which. What happened to Julie Herr? Doesn't she practice law anymore? [Julie Kitzes Herr, Esq. was an attorney at Akin Gump during my tenure.]
11-20-01 FYI. Adine Kernberg -- is a lawyer (born 1969) who practices in Boston, Massachusetts. She has degrees from Stanford & Columbia. Her father is Otto F. Kernberg, MD, president of the Int'l Psychoanalytic Assn., and an internationally prominent psychiatrist. Adine's mother is Paulina Kernberg, who, incidentally, was chosen by the Justice Department as the government's psychiatric consultant in the Elian Gonzalez case. [Adine Kernberg coauthored a book with Jane Ginsburg, a law professor at Columbia Law School, and the daughter of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.]
12-03-01 Here's another person to look into: Robert Berger. Subject was a paralegal at Akin Gump. Subject's interactions with me were uniformly normal. I didn't feel that I scarred him -- I had the feeling that I scarred the s--- out of the other paralegals. After I was fired -- it was in about late fall 1991 -- I was walking down Connecticut Avenue and Berger, who was with a group of friends, called out to me -- "Hey, Gar!" I was impressed by his behavior.
12-04-01 Slow news day. I thought Barbara (the librarian) was abreacting some overstimulation in the library, yesterday (12-3). She kept talking about some Russian-language publication. --I think she's too vulnerable to handle confidential information. They're closing in on Bobby!
12-5-01 I cut you some slack yesterday. But it's back to work today. Here's somebody to look into: Martin ("Marty") Isenberg: We were in the same graduating class in high school (230, 1971). We sat next to each other in ninth grade algebra class (Mr. Grant, teacher). I used to steal his homework, until he put his foot down. --I started early in my career of plagiarism. -- The high school yearbook lists "social worker" as his career goal. -- ANABRU -- If you don't get it, you don't get it.
12-6-01 Here's something to look into: Charles Davis. Subject is the supervisor of the OPS Division at the Cleveland Park Library. He was "absent without leave" (AWOL) last week and is in deep trouble. The head librarian (name?) personally traveled down to the home office to submit the necessary paperwork on subject. Subject knows everything about me. He used to work at Howard University.
[Note that in the above instance the Branch Librarian, Brian Brown, showed no concern whatsoever for the reasonable expectation of privacy of his employee, Charles Davis. A library patron, such as myself, should not know about the personal employment difficulties of a library employee. Yet, I do know. Why? Because the Branch Librarian couldn't keep his mouth shut in a public space. That's something else Brian and I have in common -- no respect for the legitimate privacy interests of other people.]
12-7-01 Check out my "new" floor lamp. I got it from the trash closet. All it needs is a new shade.-- I could start my own secondhand shop from the stuff people throw away here. See ya Monday. P.S. Still loving my anti-psychotic meds. I forgot to mention.-- I was watching a video of Puccini's opera "Tosca," conducted by Daniel Oren. So the conductor is up there on the podium, with his yarmulke on his head, and I'm thinking -- "How is it he's able to get all those goyim to sing in tune, but Malcolm and Earl couldn't." (By the way President Mitterand of France was in the audience).
12-10-01 I hit the jackpot this weekend. -- A whole computer. --That somebody threw out. I wonder if it works or if it can be repaired at a reasonable cost? I'm still waiting for somebody to throw away a wining Maryland lottery ticket. When that happens (and it will!) I'll be outta here-- See ya.
12-11-01 This is really a message for Jerry Seinfeld. I caught you on the "Today Show" (without the puffy short). You conducted yourself like a good Jewish boy. I was proud (or at least half of me) was proud of you. How's Malcolm?
12-12-01 Nothing to report. I still believe I'm under surveillance. (God bless those anti-psychotic meds). They (The Powers That Be) seem to have advised the spies in my environs to be more subtle and circumspect. You already have the names of everyone I've ever known. It's a small list. I miss Carlos and Hector. I think of them all the time ! ! !
12-13-01 Again, nothing to report. Except to note that things have been quiet in the library. Charles Davis is back. I think my psychologist has pretty much given up on me. It's a chore seeing her. I miss Hector.
12-14-01 I am missing you badly, Hector
12-17-01 Saturday (12/15), in the library, Velvel was talking on the phone, spelling a name to a caller, and said: "'K' as in 'Kissinger'" -- What meaning do you read into that? -- Just six more shopping days till Mathilde Wesendonk's birthday -- shop early. (Loving my anti-psychotic meds!!)
12-18-01 Yesterday (12/17) I had an idea of reference in the library -- (big surprise). Velvel was talking to a patron about a book called "The Secret Life of Plants" --We know what that means, don't we?
12-19-01 Here's an assignment: When I worked at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia I worked with a woman named Marianne Scott Das. She was multi-lingual and was able to read about nine different languages. She had a son named Milan Das who attended my high school (Central High School) several years after I graduated. He would have graduated in June 1977 (236th class). Milan Das was a contestant on the TV show "Jeopardy" several years ago. Marianne Das used to live in Pittsburgh -- 1122 Davis Avenue. I don't know if she knew Earl Segal! (Joke.) It was Marianne Das who, knowing I wanted to go to law school, gave me a copy of Justice William O. Douglas's autobiography, "Go East, Young Man." I think she saw something in me. (In terms of intellectual potential).
12-21-01 I've been summoned for jury duty, and am scheduled to appear on 1-17-02. I'm going to have some fun with this.
12-24-01 I'm taking 9 days off to celebrate Festivus. December 24 to January 1, 2002.
1-2-02 How was your Festivus? My Festivus was a real joy -- one of the best ever. It reminded me of my Festivus's from childhood, when the whole family would gather round the Festivus pole and sing Festivus carols. But back to business. I was excused from jury duty. Actually I was hoping I'd have to appear. --Then I was going to tell my story in person in open court -- "I am currently under surveillance by President Clinton." -- Believe me, I would have said that. Real attention grabber, I'm sure.
1-3-02 My psychiatrist said I can taper off my anti-psychotic meds. Be prepared for a wild and crazy guy who will emerge when the meds wear off!
posted by My Daily Struggles | 12:59 PM
5 Comments:
Regarding your 10/9/01 post. Dr. Thomas Horan was my 10th grade English teacher at Central High in 1979 and I count him as one of the great intellectual influences in my life. Yes, he spoke often of his Ulysses thesis.
Jim McW
I was fortunate enough to have Doc Horan ( Dr. Thomas J. Horan ) in 9th and 12th grade. He was a great person, and a great teacher. I was also fortunate enough to live near him, and we'd take the bus home and talk about Lark cigarettes and how he used to smoke them while spending time in Greece. (249)
Thomas Horan 9th, Henry Weisberg 10th, Berton Barsky 11th, and Dr. Hamm 12th. Great teachers and educators.(236)
Followed this thread because it mentioned Murray Marion, who I knew in high school. I'm Steve Weiss (weiss@nku.edu). In high school I played the sax. Today I am a communication professor (and I still play the sax).
Mr. Horan was my favorite teacher in HS.
Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home